Ali, bonjour my brother from another mother! I hope you and wifey are settling in well in your new crib in Saudi Arabia (is it true that there's an oil well in your compound? Wow, you lucky SOB!)
Ali, you're my beste friend from wayyyyyyy back in the anti-colonialism days when we fought against the damn ass French controlling our countries, and one of the responsibilities that come with friendship is to tell the truth and nothing but the truth.
Ali, how could you kwamilia stick to power for over 20 years? Damn, was your ass stuck to the velvet and gold presidential seat by super glue? So what made you sit on it that looooong bra?
I'm also shocked to hear that you censored the media and the Net. News was where you went, who you met, what you did when you met, when you met, why you went and how you went. Don't you know nowadays guys are on FB and tweeting? (ask your grandkid what those terms mean, lol).
By censoring da media your sychophants told you only what you wanted to hear, meaning you didn't know that the dude who set himslf alight coz of lack of works employment is the one who sparked that tsunami that tossed you out of State Hse.
Another way you fucked up was by sending magova riot cops to the streets to shoot live bullets at the protesters. Eish man, don't you know of rubber bullets and water cannons?
$50m worth of bling
Another thing, Ali my friend, that led to your downfall was you and your famo family giving yourselves ALL the big ass tenders, making your family the richest in Tunisia. Word is that your wifey Leila fled with $50m worth of ndechu gold! WTF! even Birdman of Young Money doesn't pack that much bling! Look, you should have distributed some contracts to the opposition but it's 2 late now boss.
Nway, g2g. Can you believe it, Mubarak of Egypt is in trouble OMG! He may join you there, loool. I have 2 watch this. Africa no longer needs dictators you know. Cheers, keep in touch.
Your boy
Laurent Gbagbo
Democratically elected president of Ivory Coast
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Kenyan aircraft manufacturer to appeal against ban
Gabriel Nderitu, an aspiring Kenyan aircraft maker, now has an opp to appeal against the cease-and-desist order the Kenya Civil Aviation Authority served him with after his kanyoni's plane's prototype landing gear collapsed after a recent 'test drive'.
Mwakaleaks, an ex-employee in the airworthiness department which issued the letter instructing Gabriel to 'refrain from further construction or development', says the IT pro, who has been building the plane for a year with instructions downloaded from Wikipedia; can melt the KCAA's sonkos' bureaucrats' hearts if he aligns his plane to market demand. "For starters, he can say his plane will be used to transport registered voters in one constituency to go vote in another one in the 2012 elections," Mwakaleaks suggests. He adds that Gabriel, aka Gebu, can saidia help his case further if he promises to simultaneously freight forward election related non-perishable cargo such as pangas, bows, arrows, leaflets, T-shirts, ng'an'gu booze, etc. "No doubt the KCAA will be excited about his commitment to ensuring every Kenyan voter's voice is heard by exercising his/her democratic right to vote for a leader of his choice."
Secondly, Mwakaleaks proposes transporting fibre optic cables to ocha rural areas like North Eastern province will also help Gebu, who has spent over $5,000 on his invention, strengthen his case. " Kenyan ISPs have zushad complained for looooooong that such areas are inaccessible and hence, expensive to reach and that's why those residents suffer from permanent Net drought," Mwakaleaks says. "But if Gebu offers to do several charitable squads trips transporting cables and watu wa mkono labourers to lay them, he will prove his commitment to contributing to Kenya's quest to become a world-class knowledge economy."
Grassroots development
Another way Gebu , whose plane consists of a Toyota engine, Mini wheels, aluminium wings and weighs 800kgs, can have the order lifted is if he gives waheshimiwas MPs 1st priority in bookings to enable them attend harambees fund raisers and burials in their constituencies. "Not only will he prove his enthusiasm in helping bring development to the grassroots, he will assist MPs expose their human side when they grieve with their constituents in times of sorrow," Mwakaleaks says.
Mwakaleaks promises that not only will KCAA chuja revoke the order and convert it to 'sir, urgently resume further construction and development', the regulator will also sponsor Gebu to attend global aviation conferences and shows, protect his idea from being mugged by copyright kauzis thugs and swing him a monopoly in the Kenyan airplane market against competitors like Airbus and Embraer.
Mwakaleaks, an ex-employee in the airworthiness department which issued the letter instructing Gabriel to 'refrain from further construction or development', says the IT pro, who has been building the plane for a year with instructions downloaded from Wikipedia; can melt the KCAA's sonkos' bureaucrats' hearts if he aligns his plane to market demand. "For starters, he can say his plane will be used to transport registered voters in one constituency to go vote in another one in the 2012 elections," Mwakaleaks suggests. He adds that Gabriel, aka Gebu, can saidia help his case further if he promises to simultaneously freight forward election related non-perishable cargo such as pangas, bows, arrows, leaflets, T-shirts, ng'an'gu booze, etc. "No doubt the KCAA will be excited about his commitment to ensuring every Kenyan voter's voice is heard by exercising his/her democratic right to vote for a leader of his choice."
Secondly, Mwakaleaks proposes transporting fibre optic cables to ocha rural areas like North Eastern province will also help Gebu, who has spent over $5,000 on his invention, strengthen his case. " Kenyan ISPs have zushad complained for looooooong that such areas are inaccessible and hence, expensive to reach and that's why those residents suffer from permanent Net drought," Mwakaleaks says. "But if Gebu offers to do several charitable squads trips transporting cables and watu wa mkono labourers to lay them, he will prove his commitment to contributing to Kenya's quest to become a world-class knowledge economy."
Grassroots development
Another way Gebu , whose plane consists of a Toyota engine, Mini wheels, aluminium wings and weighs 800kgs, can have the order lifted is if he gives waheshimiwas MPs 1st priority in bookings to enable them attend harambees fund raisers and burials in their constituencies. "Not only will he prove his enthusiasm in helping bring development to the grassroots, he will assist MPs expose their human side when they grieve with their constituents in times of sorrow," Mwakaleaks says.
Mwakaleaks promises that not only will KCAA chuja revoke the order and convert it to 'sir, urgently resume further construction and development', the regulator will also sponsor Gebu to attend global aviation conferences and shows, protect his idea from being mugged by copyright kauzis thugs and swing him a monopoly in the Kenyan airplane market against competitors like Airbus and Embraer.
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