Ali, bonjour my brother from another mother! I hope you and wifey are settling in well in your new crib in Saudi Arabia (is it true that there's an oil well in your compound? Wow, you lucky SOB!)
Ali, you're my beste friend from wayyyyyyy back in the anti-colonialism days when we fought against the damn ass French controlling our countries, and one of the responsibilities that come with friendship is to tell the truth and nothing but the truth.
Ali, how could you kwamilia stick to power for over 20 years? Damn, was your ass stuck to the velvet and gold presidential seat by super glue? So what made you sit on it that looooong bra?
I'm also shocked to hear that you censored the media and the Net. News was where you went, who you met, what you did when you met, when you met, why you went and how you went. Don't you know nowadays guys are on FB and tweeting? (ask your grandkid what those terms mean, lol).
By censoring da media your sychophants told you only what you wanted to hear, meaning you didn't know that the dude who set himslf alight coz of lack of works employment is the one who sparked that tsunami that tossed you out of State Hse.
Another way you fucked up was by sending magova riot cops to the streets to shoot live bullets at the protesters. Eish man, don't you know of rubber bullets and water cannons?
$50m worth of bling
Another thing, Ali my friend, that led to your downfall was you and your famo family giving yourselves ALL the big ass tenders, making your family the richest in Tunisia. Word is that your wifey Leila fled with $50m worth of ndechu gold! WTF! even Birdman of Young Money doesn't pack that much bling! Look, you should have distributed some contracts to the opposition but it's 2 late now boss.
Nway, g2g. Can you believe it, Mubarak of Egypt is in trouble OMG! He may join you there, loool. I have 2 watch this. Africa no longer needs dictators you know. Cheers, keep in touch.
Your boy
Laurent Gbagbo
Democratically elected president of Ivory Coast
lolest!
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